And I told you to be patient And I told you to be fine And I told you to be balanced And I told you to be kind And in the morning I'll be with you But it will be a different kind And I'll be holding all the tickets And you'll be owning all the fines
"Okay, here it is. Your choice, it's simple, her or me. And I'm sure she's really great. But I love you. In a really, really big, pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So Pick me. Choose me. Love me."
Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy Season 2, Episode 5
One of my favorite episodes where Allison, Derek's ex-wife came back to Seatlle Grace and Derek struggles with choosing between her and his present girl Meredith.
I can relate with how Meredith felt when Allison came back. It is hard to compete with someone from the past because you are not just competing with the person but also with the relationship and the memories they have established. This line from Derek says it all:
"Derek: [to Meredith] Look I was married for 11 years. Addison is my family. That is 11 Thanksgiving’s, 11 birthdays, 11 Christmas’s, and in one day I am supposed to sign a piece of paper and end my family? A person doesn’t do that, not without a little hesitation. I’m entitled to a little uncertainty here. Just a moment to understand the magnitude of what it means to cut somebody out of my life. I am entitled to at least one moment of painful doubt and a little understanding from you would be nice."
I think Derek is selfish, well he should have thought of that before he got in to a relationship with Meredith. But it happens...We enter into new relationships thinking that we have moved on or at least ready to move on. We think that being in a new relationship will help us forget the pains from our last one. It is not easy to just cut somebody off of your life even if they have hurt you badly in the past. It's not easy to let go of memories both good and bad.
I'm not the kind of girl who, when faced with a man who is deciding between me and someone else, will say "Pick me, choose me, love me." I firmly believe that if a man loves me, and I mean really loves me, there would be no choice for him. I would want him to feel for me in the same way that I feel for him, and when I am in love, there is no other choice but the target of my love. At the end of the day this is what I would say:
"Well, it is your choice, it's simple, her or me. I love you. In a really really big, pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. I can fight for you but I will not beg for you to pick me, choose me and love me. I love myself more, that I would not go that far and we both know that I do not deserve that. Just remember that if you choose her, she may hurt you (again) and when she does, I won't be here." ☺
Well, that's just me...It's gonna hurt like hell if the person you love chooses the other girl but the thing is you shouldn't allow yourself to just be an option or one of the many options. Know that you the deserve someone who doesn't need to choose because there would be no other choice for him but you.
Fighting for love is a lot different from begging for it. I think that the begging and the "will do anything and everything for you just choose me over her" is only for movies or telenovelas. People may call pride, but I prefer to call it self-love and self-respect. ☺
"Balance is never letting anyone love you less than you love yourself"
Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat. Pray, Love
P.S I wrote this over a year ago. I don't really know why but I just didn't have the courage to post it. Haha! Oh well....
Someday you're gonna realize
One day you’ll see this through my eyes
By then i won’t even be there
I’ll be happy somewhere
Even if I cared
I know
You don’t really see my worth
You think you’re the last guy on earth
Well I've got news for you
I know I'm not that strong
But it won't take long,
Won't take long
Cause someday, someone’s' gonna love me
The way, I wanted you to need me
Someday ,someone’s' gonna take your place
One day I’ll forget about you
You'll see, I won't even miss you
Someday, someday..
Right now
I know you can tell
I'm down, and I’m not doing well
But one day these tears
They will all run dry
I won't have to cry
Sweet goodbye..
Cause someday, someone’s' gonna love me
The way, I wanted you to need me
Someday ,someone’s' gonna take your place
One day I’ll forget about you
You'll see, I won't even miss you
Someday, someday..
